SPY NIGERIA: Confession

True confession: How do I tell my fiance I’m pregnant for another man?

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Married-Woman-with-pregnancy-caught-with-men-I wouldn’t want to bore you with all the stories of our affair. 
 
Felly is my name. 
 
I have been dating this guy, Segun for years now and I’ve never seen a man who is down to earth like him. 
 
 
Aside his meekness and sincerity, he is handsome and above all godly and intelligent. 
 
Before we both started dating, we were very close friends from our 200 level at Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma. 
 
We both fell in love in our final year and I told him I was a virgin and he promised not to touch me till our wedding night. 
 
To be sincere, as at then, I was truly a virgin and was ready to do everything to keep my pride for my future husband. 
 
 
However, after our university, I returned to my parents in Lagos while he went to the UK for his Masters. 
 
I got a job with one of the commercial banks as a marketer shortly after my university education while waiting for call up for my NYSC. 
 
While in the UK, Segun was always in touch and even usually sent me money for my upkeep. 
 
However, my friend, Sandra advised me that I was only wasting my time waiting for a man outside the country. 
 
 
She said, he (Segun) would not look at my side once he returns and that the best thing for me was to have another guy as back up. 
 
She repeatedly warned me that keeping my eggs in one basket won’t favour me. 
 
She introduced me to a colleague of hers, Sunny, who is a graphic designer. 
 
Sunny is a sex addict. He loves sex more than food and could do anything to have his way. 
 
I couldn’t resist his pressures and threats. 
I eventually gave him my virginity and as I write this, I’m 10 weeks pregnant. 
 
The shocking thing is that, Segun, my fiance is back from the UK and he is ready for marriage. 
 
Meanwhile, Sunny, who is responsible for the pregnancy has since denied. His phone is perpetually switched off. 
 
I have been avoiding Segun because my conscience wouldn’t let me face him. 
 
Now, I am confused, do I take off the baby and go ahead with the marriage or keep the pregnancy and face the reality of life. 
 
Please help me out. I’m confused because the decision I might take next might be suicidal. 
 
Editor’s Note: 
 
If you would like to respond to this private problem, please post comments below. When leaving a message on this page, be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of real-life dilemma, who wrote to SPY NIGERIA readers asking for help, and may as well view your comments. Please consider how the tone of your message could be perceived by someone trapped in this kind of impasse. 
 
If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 500 words to spyngr@gmail.com

Confession True confession: How do I tell my fiance I’m pregnant for another man?

Married-Woman-with-pregnancy-caught-with-men-I wouldn’t want to bore you with all the stories of our affair. Felly is my name. I have ...

Story of My Life: I slept with my driver just to have children for my husband

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I am not a loose woman. I am just a woman who loves her husband very much and didn’t want to lose him. I just did what I had to do to save my marriage even though I feel guilty sometimes. It was not easy but I slept with my driver so that I could give my husband a child, but instead, God gave me twins, a boy and a girl. 
 
I was married to Philip for eight years. We had no child. “The worst was that I never got pregnant even for a day.” His mother became so impatient that she started breathing down my neck as she gave me no breathing space at all. She moved in to live with us and practically made my life unbearable – in my matrimonial home. I cannot drink water and drop the cup because she must insult me. It got to a point that she stopped eating my food because, according to her, I should be feeding my children so that they would grow healthy and stronger and not her. “Monica, if you had children, you are supposed to be feeding them with all these food so that they would grow healthy and strong. I am getting old so I don’t need all these nonsense you call food. Take them away and give me grandchildren,” she would scream. She also stopped talking to me, however, the only time she talks to me is when she wants to insult me and remind me of how less a woman I was. 
 
 
Philip and I love each other so much that he stood by me despite all his mother did or said to frustrate me to leave him. We visited different specialists and they all certified us medically alright. I have visited churches, held vigils and even fasted for days, drank various concoctions of varied colours and combinations all in the name of getting pregnant so that my mother-in-law can stop humiliating me yet I couldn’t get pregnant. 
 
At a point, I stopped coming out of my bedroom because it was obvious my mother-in-law had vowed to frustrate me out of her son’s home. Most times, I just stayed in my bedroom and either cries, pray, think and then sleep off because I was scared of his mother confronting me. To make things worse, she sent away the house help because she said, “You don’t need any house help because there are no children to take care of. Take care of your house yourself and stop wasting my son’s hard earned money.” 
 
It was just the three of us living at home, “God, I was always so terrified even when I hear her voice from a distance.” It is so agonizing to say this but my husband usually pleads with me to come out of the room and this makes him feel so sad especially those times I refuse because I don’t want to come face-to-face with his mother. When her troubles became too unbearable, Philip practically threw her out of the house just to make me feel safe and comfortable in my own home. 
 
Even after she had left, I could still hear those insults in my head so I decided to take a bold step – I seduced and slept with our driver, Okon. Okon is a young man in his late 20’s. He is a graduate of Mechanical Engineering but because he could not get a good paying job, he opted to become a driver. I promised to get him a good job if he sleeps with me just once but I never disclosed the reason for this. However, Okon thought I just wanted to cheat on my husband with him. I planned it during my ovulation so that I could get pregnant, although it was not easy sleeping with another man. I knew I was betraying my husband but I saw it as a necessary action. After a month, I discovered that I was pregnant. So, as promised I got a job for Okon in a friend’s company where he started earning almost N150, 000 per month. When I told Philip that I was pregnant, he was so excited. “Sweetheart, God has finally answered our prayers. I am pregnant,” I revealed. 
 
 
When I was five months pregnant, he informed his mother and she immediately returned to the house. She pampered me like a baby and also took good care of me. I never wanted to do any scan but my mother-in-law insisted. When I finally did the scan, it showed I was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. My mother- in-law and husband were extremely happy while I felt much fulfilled. “God thank you for compensating me with a set of twins after eight years of barrenness,” I muttered. 
 
When the twins were born, the girl took ill for some time. It took a while before she fully recovered after several treatments and this got me worried. Philip and I insisted that blood test be carried out on them to determine their blood group and genotype and then came the shocking revelation. The doctor informed us that although their blood groups are both A, however, their genotypes are AS for the girl and AA for the boy meanwhile Philip and I are both AA. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up because I felt Philip would ask questions but to my surprise, he did not. He just said, “Sweetheart, lets go home. We have had quite a long day, you and my babies need to rest.” 
 
Three months later, he held me closely and said, “Monica, don’t be scared. I don’t want to know who the father of the twins is. I know whatever you did, you did to save our marriage and I am very proud of you. I promise to always love you and my babies. I promise this will be a secret between us. I love you sweetheart. I know we will have our own children someday.” I wept as he wiped my tears with his hands. 
 
I know what I did was wrong but at least my mother-in-law is extremely happy with me, that is all that matters. Although, everyone is happy but I feel guilty that I selfishly used an innocent man to achieve my aim. But before anybody judge me; just put yourself in my shoes and think for a moment what you will do? 
 
 
Monica

Confession Story of My Life: I slept with my driver just to have children for my husband

I am not a loose woman. I am just a woman who loves her husband very much and didn’t want to lose him. I just did what I had to do to save...